Sh*t

April 2, 2016

 

 

I gave up cussing A LOT. It started happening around October 2013. I am not sure what triggered that desire. Perhaps I got very sick, tired and fed up with myself being so foul-mouthed. It had got very seriously disgusting at one point. I didn’t cuss at work, when I put on my healer’s hat. But that wasn’t the point. It was altogether just disgusting. I felt the energy eating me up alive. I felt it rusting my life rapidly. Something needed to be done, I told myself. 

Almost everybody cusses nowadays. It has actually become something acceptable. Especially words like s***, d***, h*** and even f***! Growing up, I never cussed. Nobody in my family ever cussed. We speak mostly Cantonese at home. Cantonese cussing words are horrendous. Please don’t email me out of curiosity. I WON’T REPLY! 

I don’t want to blame anybody. However, I actually started CHOOSING to cuss since I dated my first American boyfriend. He was extremely foul-mouthed. That was 16 years ago. That means I had been cussing for 16 years before I really quit saying those words. 16 years of heavy, negative energy lingering me over and over again. Some of you might say “you give words the meaning. They have no meaning”. True! But something so globally accepted as a cuss word does carry certain form of negativity in it, all from the mind from everybody on earth, which gives it the meaning! 

One day right after my last “intentionally-said” words, f*** and gd,  I all of a sudden decided to just stop all these words abruptly. COLD TURKEY. It was so difficult at first. My ego all of sudden lost its “feel good” words that made it feel cool or righteously obnoxious. Don’t ask me. I have no idea why I felt good cussing. I even asked some of my close girlfriends to monitor me. The first 2 to 3 weeks were the toughest. Sometimes I would accidentally say it and then beat the crap (see I say crap nowadays) out of myself with my guilty conscious. After about a month or two, I actually felt very very good. No idea what it was. But since cutting out cuss words in my vocabulary, everything in life seems to have been easier, more relaxing and more cheerful. One thing I would like to emphasize is my fertility treatments.

Lately more and more fertility patients have got pregnant. Like one after another. Quicker than I expected. I was like wow wow wow...I was happy for them. I felt their joy and at the same time overwhelmed and puzzled. Why all of a sudden? Some of them still haven’t had their menstruation shifted that much yet, and they got pregnant! One day I was driving to work thinking about this. I was asking “Why are things (fertility cases) going so fast and insanely more effective than before all of a sudden...??” Here came this thought, almost orgasmicly refreshing, “Jin, that is because you have given up cussing a lot. Keep it up...” OK. I AM GIVING UP SAYING S*** ALSO THEN. No more s***! Only crap and bovine feces allowed! 

Don’t get me wrong. Did I accidentally say the word s*** lately? Yes I did. But my plan is to completely wipe it out of my vocabulary; just like f*** and gd. 

Next, d*** and h*** are going to be eliminated also. 

Do I feel uncomfortable now when I hear someone say those words? Yes I do. But with no judgment. Crap! Who am I to judge? I used to cuss like a sailor. So feel free to cuss, in front of me. But I hope this blog does inspire you. I wish you all goodies in life. We all deserve good things and energy. 

Cincin!  

 

 

 

 

 

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